Yes. I did get my stuff back finally and it still hurt. I didn’t personally go pick it up but when I got the call that all my belongings were given to my friend my heart felt heavy. It was like my heart was ripped out. This was it and it was no going back. To many horrible words said and we can’t take it back. If I would have picked up my things..If I?? I would have cried and probably broke down and ask why why why. If I would have gone to pick those things up. I drove to him even though it flooded in Columbia..I drove. I loved him..I love him. I hate him..I hate him. The pain of knowing that I’ll be the past and some other girl will get the best of him is what makes me so mad. Yet, I feel a relief in some odd way. I could no please that man to save my life. All the horrible thoughts he had towards me spilled out in one moment and he meant it all. How can I forgive someone who thinks so ill of me. I will forgive him one day. We move on from apologies we may never get. I will move on because I have no choice. I will be strong for myself. i will be strong because the next time I see that man, whether a year or 20 years from now, he will regret how he hurt me. I will continue being productive and with that.. keep my sanity. Shit, this hurts like hell but Netflix and this pizza is quite comforting. I know now I meant so little to him and so he will no longer take room up in my mind. Tomorrow I will start living for me. I want to travel the world, meet good people and drink good wine. Closure? What Closure. I will never again be defined by the person beside me but by the shadow that never leaves me. This is for broken hearted and the purple dreams.
A.D.
npurpledreams 
great post.
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Thank you!
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welcome
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“This was it and it was no going back.” I was feeling this way just this weekend. I rearranged the furniture in MY apartment and created for myself a study. It has been 41 days since he left. We lived together 5 years. And as I created my study with my books and my drawers in the place where he used to have his PC mounted to the wall, it started feeling real. That this is really just MY apartment now, and not ours. The good thing about this is that after he left, I was still so many things without me. I’ve always been many things, but in the last five years all I ever cared about was the ME who was with HIM. I now mean so little to him, as he left me for another, and his affair has been going on for months before I even found out. When I did, he was the one who was angry, like it was my fault I learned the truth. Anyway, let us move forward. I still have a job I love, I still have my pets, my family and friends, and the passions I pursue. I am still me, and you are still you, the unique person that you are.
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We will be just fine!!!
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Thank you for reading! Breakups are hard but we will one day write about our adventures and journeys through life. We will move on and show them just what they missed! Here is to the past and future!!!
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